You Can’t Think Your Way Out of Anxiety
If you’re someone who’s always used your brain to survive—to anticipate, analyze, stay one step ahead—anxiety can feel especially frustrating. You’re used to figuring things out. You’re used to being good at things.
So when you’re overwhelmed and you try to think your way out of it, only to find yourself spiraling deeper… it can feel like you’re failing.
You’re not.
This is simply what happens when the part of your brain built for thinking meets the part of your brain built for survival.
Your Thinking Brain Goes Offline When Anxiety Turns On
When anxiety ramps up, the prefrontal cortex (the part responsible for logic, planning, and reasoning) starts to dim. Meanwhile, your threat systems turn all the way up.
Your heart rate changes.
Your gut tightens.
Your senses sharpen.
Your body mobilizes.
And your mind tries desperately to catch up.
This is why so many people tell me, “I know I’m safe, but it doesn’t feel safe.”
It’s not a cognitive problem. It’s a nervous system state.
Brainy People Often Get More Stuck
If you’ve spent your entire life relying on intellect, it becomes your go-to coping strategy. It’s familiar. It feels competent. And honestly, it’s worked for you in so many areas.
But when it comes to anxiety, overthinking often pours gasoline on the fire.
You:
replay conversations
create mental spreadsheets of possible outcomes
try to explain your feelings away
analyze every angle
Meanwhile your body is like, “Hey… something’s happening over here.” Thoughts can’t regulate a dysregulated body. They can only narrate it.
Why Therapy Helps You Get Past the Intellectualizer Part
A lot of my clients have a part of them that loves to explain. It’s sharp, it’s perceptive, and it’s protective. Therapy doesn’t try to shut that part down, but we help it stop running the entire show.
Here’s what shifts in the room:
1. You’re no longer alone with the experience.
Your nervous system responds to safe, steady presence. Being with someone grounded changes the biology of your stress response in a way thinking simply can’t. This is the magic of co-regulation: your body finally gets to exhale.
2. I pay attention to what your body is doing, not just what your mind is saying.
When your breath catches or your voice softens while you’re explaining something, I’ll gently pause you. Not to call you out, but to invite you in.
Many of us have never had someone say, “Hang on, something moved right there. Can we check in with that?” Those tiny emotional tremors are where healing begins.
3. Therapy becomes a place where you don’t have to perform competence.
High-achievers are so used to sounding put-together that even their pain gets polished. In the room with me, you don’t need a perfect narrative. You’re allowed to be unsure, messy, and have all the feelings in our space together.
4. Insight lands differently when emotion is present.
You can understand something for years. But when you feel it your brain can finally rewire around it. That’s how memory reconsolidation works. This is why clients often say, “I knew this in my head, but today it felt true.”
5. EMDR and parts work help you access the emotional system directly.
These modalities gently shift you out of hyper-analysis and into what your younger parts or your body are holding. Not in a scary way, but in a quiet, steady, way. Your intellectualizer doesn’t get banished. She just doesn’t have to white-knuckle everything alone anymore.
What Can Help?
Here are a few practices I often share with clients:
Micro-interruptions
A 60–90 second pause resets threat circuitry more than you’d think.
Orienting
Letting your eyes land on something neutral in the room signals safety. Noticing where you are, in the present, looking at physical things around you.
Parts check-ins
Asking, “What part of me is anxious? What does she need?” This shifts the tone from judgment to care.
Co-regulation
Talking with a grounded, steady person. Our bodies are wired to regulate together.
Small, steady consistency
Not dramatic self-improvement binges. Just gentle repetition that your system can trust.
Learning a New Way to Be With Yourself
If overthinking has been your survival strategy, there’s nothing wrong with you. It kept you safe. But your system might be ready for something different now — something softer, more connected, and more spacious.
That’s what therapy offers: a place where your brilliant mind doesn’t have to figure everything out alone, and your emotional world finally gets room to breathe.
If you’re navigating anxiety, perfectionism, or the feeling of being stuck in your head, this work can help you come home to yourself in a deeper way.
