EMDR for CPTSD: Pace & Preparation Matters
EMDR for CPTSD Is Different
EMDR is often described as a powerful trauma therapy. For many people, it can be. But EMDR doesn’t work the same way for everyone—especially for people with complex trauma (CPTSD) or dissociation.
If you’ve tried EMDR before and found it overwhelming, disorganizing, or even re-traumatizing, you’re not broken and you didn’t “do it wrong.”
In many cases, the approach simply didn’t match your nervous system.
EMDR for Single-Event Trauma vs. Complex Trauma
EMDR was originally developed to treat single-event trauma, meaning experiences like a car accident, a medical procedure, or a one-time assault.
For some people, EMDR can be fairly direct. The nervous system may already have:
A stable sense of self
Clear memory boundaries
Enough internal safety to process a specific event
In those cases, EMDR can move more quickly toward memory processing.
Complex trauma is different.
CPTSD often develops over time, especially in childhood or in relationships where escape wasn’t possible. The trauma isn’t just about what happened; it’s often about what didn’t happen and how your nervous system learned to survive.
Why EMDR Can Feel Overwhelming for CPTSD
Many people with CPTSD rely on protective responses such as:
Emotional numbing
Protective “checking out,” emotional numbing, or mental distance
Hyper-thinking or intellectualizing
Anxiety or shutdown when feelings arise
These are not problems to eliminate. They’re intelligent adaptations that kept you functioning.
When EMDR moves too fast (or jumps straight into traumatic memories without adequate preparation) those protective systems can become overwhelmed. That’s often when people describe their experience as:
Overwhelming
Terrifying
“Blocked”
EMDR should never feel like being forced through something your system isn’t ready for.
EMDR for CPTSD Requires a Different Pace
I often explain it this way:
With single-event trauma, EMDR may be a front-door approach.
With complex trauma, we often need to go in through a window—indirectly, and with much more attention to safety.
That usually means spending meaningful time on:
Building internal and external safety
Strengthening grounding and regulation skills
Understanding protective parts rather than pushing past them
Assessing protective patterns and nervous system capacity
Establishing trust in the therapeutic relationship
This is not a delay.
This is the work.
EMDR Should Not Be Traumatizing
EMDR is not supposed to feel like endurance training.
It should not feel like:
Being flooded beyond your capacity
Being pushed through
Reliving trauma without enough support
Losing time, orientation, or a sense of self
When EMDR is adapted appropriately for complex trauma, it often feels slower, more contained, and more collaborative. The goal isn’t to power through memories, but rather to help your system process what it couldn’t before.
If You’ve Had a Difficult EMDR Experience
A hard experience with EMDR does not mean:
You failed
EMDR can’t help you
Therapy isn’t for you
Often, it simply means the approach didn’t fit your trauma history.
That matters.
How I Work With EMDR and Complex Trauma
I’m trained and certified in EMDR with advanced focus on complex trauma and dissociation. My work is grounded in the understanding that your nervous system and your specific needs set the pace — not the protocol.
EMDR is part of the therapy I offer, but it’s never the whole thing.
Our work often includes:
Careful preparation and resourcing
Parts-informed and attachment-based approaches
Ongoing attention to regulation and safety
EMDR used thoughtfully, collaboratively, and only when your system is ready
The goal is to help you build enough safety and capacity that healing can happen without overwhelming you.
Therapy should feel challenging and containing. If you’ve been hurt by therapy before, that experience deserves care, not dismissal.
If you’d like to talk about working together, please reach out.
