Invisible Pelvic Pain: You Hurt but Look Fine
“But, you look fine?!”
This is such a challenging comment when you have an invisible illness.
Invisible illnesses are those that can’t be seen by others— from diabetes or depression to pelvic conditions, such as endometriosis, interstitial cystitis, or PCOS. The intention is not harmful. But the comment can still feel deeply invalidating, reminding you that your pain isn’t fully recognized or understood.
Humans have a fundamental need to be seen and understood—especially when we’re navigating distress or trauma. When pain is invisible, that need often goes unmet. The confusion or disbelief of others can leave you feeling alienated, othered, and profoundly alone
Living With What Others Can’t See
And I get it— I navigated the symptoms of endometriosis for many years. I lived for many years with chronic pelvic symptoms and pain, without clear answers or a diagnosis. I had pain. I had bloating. I didn’t have clear answers.
At times, I felt betrayed by my body. At other times, I felt powerless within it—the very body I had to live in every day. Because my illness was invisible, I often carried on as though everything was fine. I learned how to minimize my experience, to reassure others, to say don’t worry about me—even while dealing with significant, unexplained symptoms.
If this feels familiar, you’re not imagining it. This is a common survival strategy when pain isn’t acknowledged or understood.
The Emotional Cost of Invisible Pain
When I think back to that difficult period— the appointments, the physical therapy, and the unknowns— I would have loved emotional support from someone who’d navigated the world with an invisible illness. Not advice. Not fixing. Just someone who understood what it meant to live inside an invisible condition.
Invisible pain doesn’t only affect the body. It affects how you move through the world, how safe you feel asking for support, and how much of yourself you’re allowed to take up. Over time, it can create shame, self-doubt, and a quiet sense of isolation.
Support That Honors the Whole Experience
In my work, I support people living with chronic pelvic pain and other invisible conditions by addressing both the physical experience and its emotional impact.
This may include exploring the mind–body connection, understanding how chronic stress and trauma are held in the body, and gently working with the nervous system when anxiety or panic intensify physical symptoms. I’m certified in EMDR and use specialized approaches for chronic pelvic pain that focus on relief, regulation, and restoring a sense of agency.
Just as importantly, there is space to grieve what has changed—and to reconnect with parts of life that still matter deeply to you.
You Deserve to Be Seen
Living with invisible pain does not mean you are exaggerating, weak, or failing. It means your experience has not always been mirrored back to you in the way it deserved.
You deserve to be heard, supported, and understood—not just for what hurts, but for how it has shaped your life.
If you’re navigating chronic pelvic pain or another invisible condition and are looking for support, you don’t have to do it alone.
Disclaimer
The content provided on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This blog does not establish a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with a licensed therapist or healthcare provider regarding your individual situation.
Disclaimer: The content provided on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While I aim to provide helpful and accurate insights, this blog does not establish a therapeutic relationship or constitute personalized advice. Always consult with a licensed therapist or healthcare provider regarding your unique situation before implementing any suggestions shared in this blog.
