Chronic Pain and Trauma: Why You’re Not Imagining It
The Experience of Not Having Answers
You sit on the cold exam table, describing pain you’ve carried for months—maybe years. The doctor glances at your chart and says softly, “I just don’t know what’s going on.”
Those words might sound neutral, but they can land heavily. Not only are you hurting physically, but now you’re left without answers or a clear path forward. You might even start doubting yourself: Is it really that bad? Am I overreacting?
This is an incredibly common experience, especially for women and people with chronic or complex conditions. And it’s not because you’re “too sensitive” or making things up—your pain is real. What’s often missing in these moments is validation, time, and a deeper understanding of how the body and nervous system hold pain.
Women’s Health and the Long Road to Answers
Many women’s health conditions are difficult to diagnose. Some don’t show up clearly on scans, and others are still under-researched. Providers are often doing their best in a fast-paced medical system that doesn’t leave much room for complex cases. But the impact of not being believed or understood is real.
Here’s what the research says:
Endometriosis affects around 10% of women and girls of reproductive age worldwide—about 190 million people. Yet it often takes 6–9 years on average to receive a diagnosis. Many women spend nearly a decade searching for answers.
For women with chronic pelvic pain or infertility, as many as 50% will have endometriosis, but even then, diagnosis can take years.
Vulvodynia—chronic vulvar pain—affects 7–16% of women. About 60% of those affected see three or more doctors before getting an accurate diagnosis.
These numbers highlight something important: it’s not you. Many people with chronic pain conditions face long waits for answers, not because their pain isn’t real, but because our healthcare system often isn’t set up to catch complex or “invisible” conditions quickly.
The Trauma–Pain Feedback Loop
Pain isn’t just a signal from one part of your body; it’s an experience created by your entire nervous system. Your brain, spinal cord, and nerves are in constant conversation. When you’ve lived through trauma, chronic stress, or long periods of not feeling safe or believed, your nervous system can become more sensitive over time.
Think of it like a smoke alarm that’s been turned up too high—it starts blaring at the faintest hint of smoke. This is called sensitization. It’s not a sign that your pain is imaginary; it’s evidence that your body has become an expert at detecting and responding to possible danger.
When pain signals and stress responses fire together repeatedly, they strengthen those pathways—this is what neuroscientists mean by “neurons that fire together, wire together.” Over time, your pain can feel louder and more constant, even if no one has found the “cause” yet.
Why the Experience Itself Can Be Traumatic
When your pain isn’t understood or validated, it doesn’t just hurt emotionally—it can also add to your body’s stress load. Feeling dismissed or unheard in a medical setting is sometimes referred to as medical trauma. This doesn’t mean every difficult appointment is traumatic, but when fear, pain, and confusion stack up over time, they leave a real imprint on your nervous system.
This cycle looks like:
Pain is present but hard to diagnose.
Appointments feel rushed, unclear, or invalidating.
Stress and fear spike, which amplifies pain signals.
You begin to feel unsafe in your own body or mistrustful of care.
A Compassionate Approach to Healing
Your pain is real, even if it doesn’t fit neatly into a diagnosis right now. Healing often requires both medical advocacy and emotional care. Here are some gentle starting points:
Find trauma-informed providers. Look for medical professionals and therapists who believe you and take your symptoms seriously.
Practice nervous system regulation. Techniques like somatic therapy, EMDR, breathwork, or grounding can help your body feel safer and reduce pain sensitivity over time.
Reframe your body’s signals. Instead of seeing pain as your body “betraying” you, try viewing it as a well-intentioned alarm system that’s simply too sensitive.
Prepare for appointments. Bringing notes, symptom logs, or written questions can help you feel more confident and supported.
Seek community and support. Working with a therapist or joining a supportive group can help you process frustration, grief, and fear while building trust in your body again.
A Note to Anyone Still Searching for Answers
If you’ve been left without answers, you’re not broken or dramatic. Your pain is valid. You deserve care, time, and a team that sees the full picture of your health—mind and body.
Healing doesn’t always mean having all the answers right away, but therapy can help you reclaim a sense of safety and hope while you navigate your care journey. If this resonates, you’re welcome to reach out for a consultation.
